November 15, 2005

We are back from our "I-kicked-the-crap-out-of-cancer" cruise! What an amazing trip! I think it should be an American law that every citizen must take a trip through the Panama Canal. Kidding aside, it was incredibly interesting. I wish I could show you all of the photos, but I have almost 400 of them. So, I paired them down to a photo from each port of call. Enjoy!

Getting our fun on at Disneyland with my Uncle Howard and Aunt Colleen who live in the San Diego area.

The gorgeous gateway into Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

After a self-guided tour of Puerto Vallerta, a super fun stop at Carlos-n-Charlie's

Having the BEST meal ever (include the most amazing Chicken Mole) at the Santa Margarita Coffee Plantation in the Sierra Madre's of Oaxaca, Mexico

Alicia suspended in the treetops of the Costa Rican rainforest.

"Oh look, Honey! A nice river with logs on the little island."

Yikes!! Those are no logs! Try 11ft crocodiles! We're not in Missouri anymore!

Ready or not, here we come! Heading into the Miraflores Lock, the first of three we went through.

Our sister Celebrity ship (the same size as Radiance,) leaving only 1 ft on each side to slide through the canal system.

Enjoying the sights and sounds of the Panama Canal from our own deck.

A personal tour of the Eastern coast of Aruba by our Aruban friends, the Lemminga's

Oct. 19, 2005

Hellooo, Everyone! I am so sorry I haven't updated my weblog for a while. Since I started back to work, it has been a whirlwind. Registration at the seminary, then Greg headed to England for work. I used those couple weeks to catch up on my housekeeping that was neglected over the past 9 months.

Along the banks of the River Thames near Runnymeade

I then joined Greg in England for a week or so! We had a fantastic time! I learned lots of new words like "scrummy" (as in scrumptious) and "nutter" (as in a crazy person.) I almost giggled with glee after the Customs Agent stamped my passport and said, "Cheers." Cheers? How cool is that!

In the gardens of Osborne House (Queen Victoria's country home) on the Isle of Wight
Greg and I visited lots of cathedrals and pubs and chased after many "white horses." I walked over Jane Austen at the Winchester Cathedral, and saw an original Magna Carta at the Salisbury Cathedral. And of course, my trip would not have been complete without a visit to Laura Ashley. Hey, I'm in the motherland! We did so many things, it's hard to describe them all, but we did have wonderful time.

Next to the Sacred Pool at the Roman Baths in Bath

Greg on the grounds of the Stone Circle of Avebury (even more interesting than Stone Henge)

Soon we are off on our "I-kicked-the-crap-out-of-cancer" Panama Canal cruise. For those who are wonder, no, we are not leaving out of the Port of Miami. There is a very large hurricane headed that way, so thank goodness we are leaving from San Diego. Two weeks of lounging and adventure! Whoo-whoo!
I am feeling great! My arms are back in the swing again, and I am sitting up quite well (though, not straight up.) I do sometimes get myself into certain chairs that I can't get out of. I was sitting in a beach chair on the boardwalk in England, when I realized that the chair was so deep that I couldn't get out. I was like, "How embarrassing! I'm stuck in a beach chair!" I did get out by rolling sideways, but it looked like I fell out of it. I'm sure it was funny to watch. My hair is about an inch long, and is definitely getting curly.
Today, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, I dressed in pink from head to toe and spray painted my hair pink. Some people thought I was crazy (and I guess I am,) but I wanted to draw attention to the subject. I also passed out little goodie bags with BC info in them. It worked b/c lots of people at work asked me questions and even a guy at the gas station asked me why my hair was pink. It was lots of fun!
I want to thank "Alicia's Angels" from DeMotte and Wheatfield. A group of ladies walked in a breast cancer fundraiser in my honor. You are all amazing! Thank you, thank you, thank you! You humble me!
I have lots of photos to post, but do not have the time at the moment. Hopefully, in a few weeks...
Lots of love, Alicia

Aug. 22, 2005

I am magnificent! I met with Dr. Brandt (Plastic surgeon) and he says I am healing quite well. I can almost raise both arms over my head! He said that I get to start scar therapy, if I wish, which is just this silicone, sticky strips that stick to my scars. I'll need to wear them for at least 12 hours a day for 12 weeks for them to be effective. I have seen some photos of the results on mast. patients and it looks great.
NO MORE PORT! I am so thrilled to rid my body of that hard thing under my clavicle. I can sleep on my left side and wear my shoulder seatbelt again. Sweet freedom!
St. Louis Magazine put out a list of the best 500 doctors in St. Louis. Two of my three doctors were on the list. Dr. Brandt (for plastic surgery) and Dr. Naughton (for oncology)! Whoo, hoo! I am so blessed to be treated by these drs. I am bummed that Dr. Dietz was not on the list. She should be on the list. She is an amazing, compassionate dr.
Very excited that I get to join Greg while he is in England in October. October will be a wonderful traveling month. First I get to go to England and then two weeks later, Greg and I head down through the Panama Canal on our I-kicked-the-living-daylights-out-of-cancer-cruise. It is going to be fantastic!
2 weeks and counting no hot flashes! :) Alicia

Aug. 11, 2005

I am almost back to myself again! I can't believe how much energy I have. For the past 7 months my body has been cut up, put out, or drugged up every few weeks. My body is finally like, "I'm free! I'm free!"
I started Tamoxifen 3 days ago, and so far no hot flashes! :) I don't have to see my oncologist for six months., I'm doing that well! I am excited about life, and I am getting used to my new normal (though, I don't think not being able to feel my whole front side will ever be normal.) I'm getting there. I don't think about my numbness much anymore, and I can toss about in bed with ease. Finally, restful sleep!
I get my port taken out on Monday, YEAH!! I can wear a seat belt again!
I am getting used to not living in "cancer-mode." My life can now be about other, more interesting things. :) God has been more than faithful to me.
Lots of love, Alicia

Aug. 2, 2005

I am very glad to say that I am healing very well now. I am standing up straight and my left arm, which I wasn't able to lift beyond shoulder height, is starting to work quite well. I am now allowed to pick up anything up to 10 lbs. The exercises which Dr. Brandt is having me do really do work. I am only at week five, so my physical fitness level is not quite perfect, but everyday I get stronger. My surgery wounds are healing quite well, and I am getting used to having to my new set (which I can't feel.) It's like I am wearing a huge over-stuffed bra! :) (Hey, I might as well just lay it all out there! Just another reason to tell why breast cancer stinks big time.)
It is amazing to me how your body heals itself. One day I can't stand up straight (b/c my new abdomen was pulled tight) and then the next morning I get up out of bed, and, boom, I can instantly stand up. So very weird to me!
I have returned to my regular working hours at Covenant Seminary, which I am SUPER happy about. It has made me not only physically stronger, but mentally healthier. Gives me something to think about other than my healing.
Next week, I am meeting with my oncologist to go over my hormonal therapy. Yeah, I'm so excited (add sarcasm at will.) I will be taking Tamoxifen, which will block the estrogen receptors in any new cancer cells that decide to pop up. This drug will decreases the chance of reoccurrence tremendously. The side effects stink (mimics menopause), but it will, like chemo, possibly save my life.
Thank you for your love, Alicia

July 22, 2005

Had a thought the other day....
I can now say, "I had cancer."
It is amazing to me that a change of one word (from have to had) changes everything.- AB

July 20, 2005

Getting better everyday. Last week I got the last two drains taken out. Hallelujah! I didn't realize that those drains were a source of a lot of my abdominal discomfort. I have a lot more freedom to move.
This week my goal is to walk at least a mile a day (divided into two walks.) My main struggle now is with stiffness and lack of mobility. My arms just aren't working well yet! Walking definitely seems to helping with the stiffness. This Friday, I am meeting with Dr. Brandt to go over my surgery and to see how I'm healing. I have lots of questions! The good thing is that he will be giving me a set of exercises to strengthen my dead chest and arm muscles. I can't wait!
A great thing is that I am starting to drive again! Yeah! It wears me out, but it feels great to have some freedom.
Please pray for my healing. At times, I get down because of my mobility problems and spot numbness (I have lost feeling on my the back of my right elbow and arm.) I know I will heal in time, but I am just so stubborn, I want it all now. (See you always have something God needs to work on! :) - AB

July 10, 2005

I have wonderful news! I just received a call from Dr. Deitz (the oncological breast dr.) She said the pathology report came back clear! No more cancer! This means I won't have to have radiation (which would have deformed my new set) I am so happy! She said they got rid of my "little old lady cancer" and that I can take my tamoxofin and have a good life....

had to take break and cry....Seeing those words, "....have a good life," hit me in a way I haven't experience for a while. Since January, it has been a long journey of not so good test results (other than the lymph nodes.) It was very powerful to say that I am now done with the painful treatments, and that the cancer has now left the building.

Anyway, Dr. Deitz said they got good margins in the right breast (the original cancerous one,) and the 2 additional lymph nodes she took out came out clear. The left breast tissue and the 2 lymph nodes came back negative for cancer. NO MORE CANCER!!!

Praise to our Father, from whom all blessings flow! I am so thankful!!


Everyday I am feeling better. Today I even went to church! I just had to be there. It fills me up for the week. :) Everyone was so surprised to see me, less than two weeks after my surgery. Honestly, it doesn't take much energy to just sit there. Anyway, it felt good to get out and be normal. It was encouraging to see my friends at church.

This past Friday, I was able to get out two of my four drains. While I wish all of them would have been removed, I am happy that the two most annoying ones, the ones under my arms, were removed. I will have the other two taken out on Tuesday. I can I wait.

To the right is me with all of my drains before heading to Dr. Brandt's to have them removed. It is also evident in this photo of my 10lb weight loss from the surgery (and also I'm loosing my chemo face-poof.)

Thank you for your love. Amazing!! Alicia

July 6, 2005

Hello, Everyone! I survived! :)
Thank you for all of your words of encouragement, prayers, cards, and visits over the past week and a half. They keep me going!
Well, surgery was the worst thing I have ever been through. The first few days were just horrid. A few times, I told Greg I wanted to die. Those were some very difficult times. But once they started giving me pain meds, I was much more comfortable. The staff at BJC was incredible. They kept me smiling through the pain, as well as keeping me at ease with my stay. My favorite person to see was my plastic surgeon, Dr. Brandt. He had wonderful sense of humor and the means to get things done.
I am very glad to be at home now (I got home Friday night.) I am sleeping VERY comfortably in my recliner which is 6 feet from the TV and 8 feet from the bathroom! :) My pain is definitely manageable and I am able to shower and do a lot of walking around stuff. I take a few naps during the day, which keeps me going. I have four tubes which are draining my abdomen and my new chest. They keep me from infection as well as blowing up like a big balloon from the "healing" fluids. Right now, the tubes the most difficult thing to deal with as they are kind of ow-ey and annoying (I have to pin the bulbs to my shirt). I am so excited about getting them removed on Friday! Yeah!
The great things is my wounds are already healing and I am pleased with the reconstruction. My tummy is truly flat and I'm bigger (if you know what I mean) than I thought I'd be :) I'm like a teenager again! :) Everyday I am standing up a little straighter and able to move around a little easier. Can't wait for the drains to come out. I will be out of work for probably 2 or 3 more weeks.
My hair is growing back in! It looks fabulous! And is soft like baby's hair.
My mom is taking care of me this week while I recoup. Greg asked her if we could hire her on permanent basis to clean and fix meals. :) I love my Mom. She is making this week so wonderful for me.
Continue to keep me in your prayers. I have A LOT of healing to do. I cannot stand or sit up straight, bend over, reach above my head, or stand up for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. Greg joked with me that I was his Borg (ask anyone who has watched Star Trek). I am all in pieces, have no hair and have tubes sticking out of my body. It ain't pretty! :)
I know in the end, the pain will end, I will love my new body, and best of all I WILL BE CANCER-FREE.
God promised me He would supply for all of my needs. He has done so abundantly. I treasure the time I now have to spend with Him prayer and song.
Love you all! Alicia

June 30, 2005 (by Greg)

The last couple of days have been much better. Alicia walked around the room and even down the hall today. She found that she actually likes to sit up in the chair instead of laying down in bed, so most of today was spent sitting in a chair. She is able to get up out of the chair by herself and is much farther along than she thought she would be at this point. She is also starting to get use of her left arm again. She has been able to use it to turn the channels on the television which is a vast improvement over not even being able to move it on Tuesday. It helped a lot when they moved the IV from her left arm to her port.
She also had her first visitors others than me and Mom or Dad. Jeff from church stopped by first thing in the morning. Amy (and Stephen) and Denise from work stopped by later in the day. She is in room #4903 at Barnes-Jewish hospital.
Alicia is well loved at the hospital and even has a new nickname: "Sexy Lady Alice" given to her by one of the techs named Sondra. She will be released from the hospital tomorrow after 5pm.
She just wants to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers for her at this tough time.

June 28, 2005 (by Greg)

Today was a pretty rough day. Alicia could really use your prayers. She is finding that the recovery from this surgery is a little tougher than she had imagined. She can barely move her left arm where the IV is inserted. Her thumbs and toes are still kind of numb. She had to cough earlier today and found it extremely unpleasant as well. The new fangled bed she was in, just wasn't working and it was eventually replaced today with the older style bed which is much more comfortable.
They heat the room in order to keep the blood flowing at the surface of the skin. However, the room has been almost too hot and has been holding steady at about 81 to 82 degrees, when the doctor said it needed to be around 78 degrees. The heat in the room is very unpleasant as well and is making things all the more uncomfortable for Alicia. We eventually convinced them to turn the heat down a bit and she was much more comfortable when I left this evening around 10pm.
On the bright side, everything is healing well. Just not fast enough for Alicia. The doctors are all pleased with the results of the surgery. Alicia is actually even ahead of schedule somewhat. She was scheduled to be confined to bed rest today. Tomorrow she was to sit up in a chair for about an hour. Thursday, small steps around the room, and Friday small trips around the hospital. She actually sat up in a chair today at least 12 hours ahead of schedule.
Alicia did start back on solid foods tonight. She also started taking Percocet tonight, which is a great help. The Morphine would make her groggy and put her to sleep, but when she woke up the pain would still be there. With the Percocet, she is able to go longer periods of time without pain.
All of the nurses and aides have been great, we want to thank: Lisa, Shirley, Beth, Sondra, Sharon and Latonya. All of the doctors: Drs. Brandt and Dietz as well as more assistants and interns than I can remember. Everyone has been great!

June 27, 2005 (by Greg)

The surgery is over. Alicia is doing great! Groggy, but great!
I'll try and recap the day for everyone, but it's late and it's been a long day, so I may skip pieces that I'll to put in tomorrow's update. Please be patient with me. The day started with us getting to the hospital at 6:30am, only to find out that we should have been there earlier. We were told 6:30am, but apparently, some wires got crossed and Alicia was rushed into pre-op for a 7:00am scheduled start. Jeff and Pat from church showed up and prayed for Alicia before the surgery started. Alicia was taken to surgery around 7:15am. (In case you weren't sure of what was to happen today, Alicia was scheduled for a bilateral mastectomy with a trans-flap (free-flap) reconstruction.)
I got my first update around 10:30am from Dr. Dietz, who came out and told me that the mastectomy portion of the surgery was over and that everything went great! She was able to get two sentinel lymph nodes from the left side that also will be sent away for testing. We should get pathology reports back sometime mid-next week. There is an outside chance that if the DCIS went clear to the edges that Alicia might need radiation on the right side still, but we'll know for sure after the pathology reports come back next week. She also told me that Dr. Brandt had started the trans-flap at the same time she started. Dr. Brandt's portion of the surgery is much longer, because of all of the micro vascular surgery involved. She told me that it would be a good time to go to lunch. I turned in my pager, left a cell phone number in case of emergencies and went to lunch.
Of course, on my way back from lunch (around 11:30am) I got called from the OR. Dr. Brandt wanted to talk with me. I hurried back to the waiting room and get in touch with Dr. Brandt, who came out and told me that Alicia's arteries are a bit different. He was afraid they might have to do the older style trans-flap because her artery might be too small in diameter to properly supply the new tissue. I just told him that he was the expert and he should do what he thought was best for Alicia.
Around 3:00pm, I got another call from the OR. Debbie (the head RN) told me that one breast was complete, they were working on the second one and that the tummy portion was prepared and ready to be closed. She also said that Dr. Brandt determined it was ok to go ahead with the free-flap and everything proceeded as normal.
Alicia's parents and her Uncle Ken & Aunt Marge showed up around 3:30pm and finished the waiting with me. We were the last people in the waiting area...again. (Alicia seems to always get these super-long day procedures)
Dr. Brandt came out about 6:15pm and told us that the surgery was successful and that Alicia was in recovery. She was groggy and would probably be groggy the rest of the night. If all goes well this week should be getting out of the hospital on Friday. She should be walking in a few days, but probably won't be walking very far for about 3-4 weeks. She will be tired for quite a while too. The full recovery is going to take about 3 months. Just in time for the cruise in October...:)
I met Alicia when they brought her to her room around 7:30pm. She was groggy, but able to communicate, drifting in and out of sleep. She is still very drugged up and probably will be for a few days. She does have her morphine drip in case she needs it for the pain though. The nurse came in and used an ultrasound doppler device to listen to the blood flowing through the recently attached arteries/veins. That was pretty cool to hear the blood flowing. Alicia's parents also came up for a quick visit, but didn't want to overwhelm her, so they left quickly. They will come back later in the week for a longer visit.
If you are planning a visit to Alicia in the hospital, it would probably be best if you waited until late Wednesday or Thursday at the earliest.
I'm probably leaving out a whole bunch, but like I said it's late and it's been a long day. Thanks to everyone for their prayers today, it was definitely an encouragement to know so many people were praying for us today.

June 26, 2005

Just a quick update before my surgery tomorrow.
Had a wonderful long weekend with all of my extended Altman family. It was the first time in, I think, 18 years that we were all in the same place at the same time. It was truly a blessing to be with them just before this time in my life. I cry when think about how special this weekend was to me. Grandma and Grandpa Altman would have loved to see us all together again!

The Altman Clan, together again after 18 years!

A collection of balding Altman's

(l to r: Cuz Thom, Uncle Ken, Uncle How, me, Bro Scott, Dad George, and hubby Greg)

Last weekend, I got to walk in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. I had the privilege of enjoying the day with BC survivor Karen, and her sisters Denise and Sandy. Their mother in Colorado has survived BC for 44 years! That is so AWESOME!! She gives me more hope to keep fighting this disease.
Please pray for me tomorrow! I need lots of prayer, cause this surgery is major. For the first two days I will be pretty much out of it (mostly medicated.) By Wednesday, I should be more awake. I'll have Greg post more information as I recover. Surgery will probably start about 7:30 am and be ending around 3- 3:30 pm. I know everyday I will get better!
I know my Lord is with me, and I am with Him.
Lots of love to you all....Alicia

June 6, 2005

I am feeling great! I am heading back to normal! I slipped past the last round with manageable side effects. Had a couple days on the couch because of body aches from the rebounding red blood cells. Other than that not too bad. My mom stayed with us a few days after my treatment. It was very nice to have her around to keep me company.
I had a few days a week or so ago just dealing with the emotional side of chemo. You spend so much of your energy dealing with just healing, that you push aside many emotions. They all came around last week. I gave over to God a lot of my anger toward all of this. I am praying that my anger will not turn to bitterness, and that I will not longer see chemo as "a big, black hole" in my life, because there is light in all of this.
I had a great time at the Relay for Life this past weekend. I got to walk with some BC survivor friends in the opening survivor's walk. It was a very strange, humbling feeling being the one on the track, instead of the one in the stands clapping for others. Interesting where God puts you! All of the survivors got a goody bag and a great catered dinner. Thanks to the Evans & Cierpot families and Elaine for all of their hard work putting our team together and decorating our AWESOME tent.
Good news! I think my hair is starting to come back! It's very thin and soft, but it is there! :)
Here is an article someone gave me at work I wanted to share with you. Had hold back some tears in some places and had to keep from laughing in others. All in all, it hits the head on the nail. I have learned how to show my inner cleavage! :) AB http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7103349/site/newsweek/

May 26, 2005

Here are some photos from the little backyard "Done with chemo" party with my family. It was special to have my family to celebrate the event.

I know I've posted some photos of myself that most would not have published, cause I just look bare. But the photo of me and Greg below struck me. It was the first photo that I could see how sick I looked. It was the first time I looked at myself and thought, "Wow, you look like you have cancer. Duh! You really are sick" It was a weird moment for me.

Me (in my wig) and my sweet hubby

Me and my best (and only) sister, Charity

May 24, 2005

I'M DONE!!!!! :) Hooray!!!
Yesterday, May 23, was my last treatment! The even better news...I wasn't sick again! Treatment is so much tolerable when you don't have to get sick. The oncology staff was said they were willing to do whatever it takes for me to not to be sick. They said they would even do cartwheel if they knew it would help. Sure enough, they allow an hour to pass between my anti-nausea meds and the chemo meds. But no cartwheels followed! I am feeling great today.
The best part of the day was when I got to ring the "Finished with Chemo Bell" in the treatment room. Just as the onc. nurse Pam was removing the tubing from my port, I noticed that a lot of nurses and staff started gathering around the nurses station in the center of the room. I asked out loud in bewilderment, "What's going on?" I thought they were giving tours of the center. Pam smiled, and said, They are here for you!" What!? I was so humbled I wanted to cry. "They are here for me!" After I was unhooked, I jumped up, grabbed the bell, rang it, and yelled out loud, "I'm finished!!!" I was such a great moment! Everyone clapped and yelled. Even all of the other patients getting treatment clapped for me. I decided I wanted to do a little celebration dance, but because the drug effect my motor skills (I'm quite drugged up), I ended up doing this strange, spastic dance. I must of have looked hilarious! My mom took pictures and I gave everyone hugs and thanked them.
Thank you, everyone, who prayed me through chemo. Your prayers and kind acts have lifted me through some dark days. I truly have got to know my Lord better through this experience. Two full more weeks and I have rid my body of this yucky chemo (the yucky chemo that is saving my life:) !
I do have a date for my mastectomy.....Monday, June 27. The surgery will be about 7-8 hours because of reconstruction. I will then be in the hospital for 5 day while they make sure I'm healing well. I am then on "bed rest" for about a week. You have to come visit me while I'm up off my feet for two weeks. I like visitors!
Lots of love!!!!

Hallelujah, my last dose of Rum Punch!

So glad to have Mom was with me for my last round.

My oncological nurse team that got me through, with Stacy and Jim on the left.

May 20, 2005

Well, my simple snotty nose turned into a full blown cold a couple weeks ago. It was yucky, and I was miserable. Because my body does not heal well during this time, over two weeks later, I am still fighting the sniffles. I have a Kleenex box stuck to my hip! The good thing is it never turned into an infection, and I will still be able to have my last chemo treatment this Monday.
Yeah!!! LAST TREATMENT MONDAY, MAY 23rd!!!!!! I am SO excited! The onc. nurse said that they will allow me too stay longer in order to allow the anit-nausea meds to absorb better. I'm praying this will again keep me from getting sick. My mom is coming down from Indiana to join me for this last treatment. It's going to be great having here there. I keep joking that this might be my most "difficult" treatment to get through because once I get that infusion, I'm going to be like, "Okay, I'm done. On with my life!" The truth is, though, I will still have to fight the same side effects for the three weeks following. I'm hoping that knowing it will be the last time I have to deal with them, will help me get through them without too much complaint.
June will be my fun month. I get one month this summer to do all those things I normally do within the whole summer. I'm getting the calendar all filled up. I'm walking in two cancer benefits. The first weekend in June, I am walking in the Relay for Life. Always a fun night! On June 18, I get to join the Susan G. Komen Race for a Cure. I get to wear a pink shirt! :) If anyone is interested in sponsoring me in either of these races, just drop me a check and I'll make sure I send you a receipt of donation.
Thank you again for all of your prayers. You all are very important to me! AB

May 5, 2005

Happy Cinco de Mayo!
I have praise and prayer!
First off, praise! I have not been sick at all this week! This past Monday, I had another dose of AC. I'll be honest, I was expecting the worst. I was not looking forward to it. Greg made sure he was there for me, because I really didn't want to do it. Me, of little faith, didn't realize that the Lord was paving His way for me.
That particular morning, the oncologist's office was basically overbooked for chemo seats. My normal 10:00 am appointment didn't start until noon. They gave me my saline and the anti-nausea meds, and there I sat for 1 1/2 hours. They didn't start my AC until 2:30 pm. Actually, the waiting was more difficult for Greg than me since he'd been up since 4:30 am that morning. My oncology nurse, Jim, said that they had run out of Cytotoxan, and was waiting for a delivery. THIS WAS A BLESSING! Greg and I believe the long wait enabled the anti-nausea meds to really take effect on my system. I have 3 real meals that day and that evening, I did normal stuff like take a walk and did a little laundry. I did take my home anti-nausea meds just in case, but I'm not really sure I needed them in the end. I have energy and feel great! I am so thankful!, I don't even know what to do with myself!! (Actually, this morning, I started making up songs about my cats! I am crazy! :) Thank you for your prayers!
Now for some prayer! While I am so overjoyed that I am not nauseous, I am a bit worried about a sinus cold I am getting. Please pray that my simple runny nose does not turn into a sinus infection. I am glad to say that my last CBC showed that my white blood cells are well in the normal range for fighting infection, but this coming week is when they dip to their lowest range during a round of treatment. I'll keep you updated with any changes in my snotty nose saga! :)
I also want to thank my sister Charity and my great friend Kathy for taking time out of their busy lives to help me on chemo days. They are both sisters of my heart! Love you, guys!

The photo of me to the right is of me in my full chemo glory. No hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes (actually, I have two lashes left.:) I wanted all to see, because this is what chemo looks like. No drawn in eyebrows, heavy eyeliner or wig. Just funky, gray, pastey skin!

Adios, amigas! Alicia

April 22, 2005

I know it has been a VERY long time since I wrote in the Weblog. I apologize for the delay. That is the thing with chemo. It is sometimes difficult to "plan" for anything. I'd say, "Okay, today at 7pm I am going to update the website." And then at 6:30 pm, I'd be toast energy-wise. But today, I have the time and energy!
How am I doing? Hm-m-m.... it varies. I'll be totally honest. Chemo is not a piece of cake. It messes with your body and mind in ways you couldn't even imagine. At times, I feel great and I am at peace with what is happening to me. And then at other times, I feel like I can't take it anymore, and want to quit. I'm usually living somewhere in between these two attitudes. Everyday I ask the Lord to make himself clearer to me through this experience.
Every time I have a round of chemo, the first evening I am VERY ill. The doctor and nurses are still trying to find an anti-nausea medicine that will prevent me from vomiting. Maybe the next time! The next day, I'm fairly nauseous and drugged up, but definitely better than the day before. By day three, I usually have enough energy to get out for a little while, like the grocery store or Wal-mart. Usually from day three through the end of week #2, it is a matter of managing the side of effects of acid reflux (got some great meds for that), fatigue (loving those naps), mouth sores (not so bad, just got to swish with salt water), and other nasty side effects which I don't want to discuss! :) By week three, the hair comes out, but I am feeling MUCH better. Basically, back to myself.
I can tell when I start feeling like myself again when I literally dance to every song on the radio. Week three is very freeing. It's like you get to get out of jail. Whoo-hoo!
Physically, it is amazing how much abuse your body can take. My complexion and veins have a funky gray undertone. When I shaved off my hair, I was amazed how much I liked the way I looked. Honestly, I could go bare headed everywhere I go, but, at times, I think it freaks people out a little. A few days ago, I went to Schunck's bare-headed and this cute 4-ish little girl, stopped dead in the aisle and stared at me. Her mom kept pulling on her, but she kept staring. I said "hi," and she finally turned around. I still laugh when I think about it. I sometimes forget I don't have hair.

The photo above is me trying to keep my head (and the rest of me) warm with a turban that was given to me by my dear Chemo Angels at the seminary (Zin, Kathy, and Shirley.) I don't know how guys walk around with bald heads in the winter. I am freezing (even in 60 degree weather!)

Oh, I didn't fill you in on the full results of my last pathology report. You all know I now have to have mastectomy (old news) because they kept finding extensive DCIS. They also found markers for Lobular Carcinoma in Situ (LCIS.) A marker means that the cells have a possibility of turning into cancer. All they need is my body to tell them to turn into cancer and, boom, it's done. The poopy thing about LCIS is that it is very sneaky. It is hard to see on screenings and hard to find physically. And there is a 50% chance of it showing up in the other breast. With all of this info, I (and Greg) have decided for an elective bi-lateral mastecomy. I don't want to have to do this again for the other side. Anyway, the reconstruction will be better looking (got to have even boobs! :) Though I don't have a set date, the mastectomy and reconstruction will probably be sometime in July. Dr. Dietz said despite all of the surgery, my prognosis it VERY good. She actually believes it is the best it could be because my cancer is a very slow growing, aggressive-wise and it has not left the breast area.
Again, thank you all for you loving words and support. I am reminded daily of God's love for me through your kind words and actions. Please pray that my body will heal quickly. Also, please pray specifically for my night time sleeping. I believe it is what is debilitating me the most. When I don't sleep, I feel like poo the rest of the day, and I can't function. It breaks me down, physically and spiritually. My next round is on Monday, May 2nd. Two down, two to go!

Love and kisses, Alicia, a.k.a. Baldy

April 13, 2005 (by Greg)

We apologize for the long delay in updating the website. It turns out that our Internet Service Provider (ISP) at home went out of business or something and left us stranded on getting the site updated. Not to mention the fact that we do not have an Internet connection at home right now and we are both climbing the walls without it. You don't realize how much you rely on it until you have to do without it. Anyway, the new ISP company is currently saying that we should be back online around Friday, April 15th.
Just a quick update. Alicia had her second chemo treatment on Monday, April 11th. The symptoms that she experienced were almost identical to the previous treatment, except she said they were a little bit more intense this time around. She is such a trooper that I even had to comment to her yesterday that I sometimes forget that she is as sick as she really is, because she is handling it so well. Her hair has started to fall out and true to her word she decided to shave her head to keep from having to deal with having hair all over the place. I decided to shave my head also in solidarity with her. We have pictures that we'll put up here once we get our ISP service back. She'll have to give you a better update when we are back online. Thanks for being there for us. Everyone has been so great!

Before

Might as well toast the event!

What you can't see is my tears as I crossed that line from a short girlie 'do to as "short as I could get" before the clippers came out. Greg told me I was beautiful. Those words got me through.

Greg has fun, sporting a mohawk!

After

March 22, 2005

So the journey begins. Yesterday, I had my first chemotherapy treatment. The day started out at 9 am at the the West County Siteman Center (where Dr. Naughton's office is located.) They ran a CBC (checking of my white and red blood counts.) The port in my chest worked amazingly, and it didn't hurt at all! All looked good, so I met with Dr. Naughton for a quick physical exam. He gave me the thumbs up to start my treatment. An ONC nurse let me pick out a comfy recliner to start my drips. Onc nurse Jim was my caregiver and infusion provider. Greg was beside me the whole time, and even made sure they gave me the right amount of drugs. He's my protector! :)
Jim started me out with a flush of saline. The saline assists with the infusion of the chemo drugs. After about 15 minutes of saline, he then gave me an Emend pill to take orally (nausea meds.) He then gave me a drip of Decadron, which also assists with nausea. That took about 15 minutes. While the Decadron was dripping, he gave a big folder full of info about my chemo drugs and how to take my anti-nausea meds once I got home. Then came out the big guns. My two drugs, Adriamycin and Cytoxan, came in a little basket after the nurse mixed up the solution.
Jim then put up on his thick blue gloves to push the Adriamycin. Adriamycin is injected straight into the port from two large syringes. I sat comfortably in my chair reading my Caribbean magazine. The funniest thing happen just as Jim was giving me the Adriamycin. The song "Margaitaville" by Jimmy Buffet came on the radio. It couldn't have come on at a more perfect moment. I had a good laugh. I then decided that I would no longer call Adriamycin the "Red Devil." I will now call it Rum Punch! And the hang over is wicked! :)
In between, injections Jim brought over some ice chips for me suck on. He said it that would aid in preventing mouth sores. After the Rum Punch was over, he started the Cytoxan drip. He warned my that most people experience sinus headaches from Cytoxan during the infusion. Sure enough, about 20 into the infusion I felt some pressure in my eyes. It really did feel like a sinus headache. Jim gave me some Tylenol. The Cytoxan took about an hour. I then finished up the saline, and headed out the door. The whole experience was positive. I wasn't afraid at all (thanks to a little talk with God the night before!) Greg and I headed over to Dr. Dietz for a post-surgical consultation (more on that later.)
We were home by 3 pm, and I was starting to feel dramatically different. I was very sluggish and a little disoriented. My mom and dad stopped by after a weekend out at the lake house. I was glad they were there before the worst started. By 4 pm, the nausea start in and continued to get worse. It was HORRIBLE!!! It was like having a severe stomach flu and influenza all at once. Body aches and severe stomach cramps. By 8:30 pm, I was in tears and tried vomiting. Thankfully, this seemed to help. Greg said that I was white as a ghost, all color had left my face. By 9 pm, the nausea was calmer. I think the drug Zofran also assisted in calming my stomach. Poor Greg was constantly running to the pharmacy for new drugs. Zofran seems to be my golden pill. I was able to have a good night's sleep.
Today, I am still struggling with moderate nausea (no quick movements and I have to keep food in my stomach,) and I am very tired. I tried carrying a laundry basket, and found it very difficult. Overall, yesterday was harder than I thought it was going to be, and today I am surprised at how much better I am feeling. Chemo is very yucky!!! Please pray for me as I recover.
I have posted some photos from yesterday's treatments, if you are interested. Thank you for the food, cards, and guestbook entries. I am being carried in love. Love, Alicia

March 14, 2005

I want to fill you on what my chemotherapy treatments will look like over the next 12 weeks. First off, I am very impressed with my oncologist, Dr. Michael Naughton. He was very friendly and was concern that we understood all of the facts. He even helped us by taking down some additional notes for us. I feel that I can trust him for quality treatment.
On Wed. March 16, I will have a port inserted just under my collarbone to assist in the delivery of my chemo drugs. It is also a handy tool retrieve blood from my body without poking me 5 times! :) The surgery will be brief, but in a way, serious because they will be sticking a tube into one of my major arteries coming out of my heart and up my lower neck. Yikes! Should be back on my feet within an hour, since it has minor anesthesia.
On Mon. March 21, I will start my first round of chemo. After some routine blood tests to see if my blood counts are good, they will administer some anti-nausea medicine (just some pills.) Once that juice starts in, so does the nausea. Got to get the meds in before it starts. I will receive two drugs through the port, Adriamycin and Cytoxan (referred to as just AC.) They are administered separately through a giant syringe over the course of about 1 1/2 hours. I just get to chill in a lounge chair. Adriamycin is referred to in the "real BC world" as "The Red Devil." It gets its name from the fact that it is bright red (like Kool-Aid), and that it treats you like the Devil. Of all of the chemo drugs, it is the worst, making the patient very sick for several days. BUT, anti-nausea meds have really made it more bearable. Also, if it leaks onto (or into) your skin it will severely burn the you. Skin grafts are the only way to heal the wound. That is why the port is very important! The important thing to understand about Adriamycin is that it is the most powerful chemo drug available for killing cancer cells. Getting AC is very good thing in the long run. I probably will be sick to my stomach on some level. Time will only tell how sick I become, since everyone reacts differently.
The most common side of effects of my treatment are nausea and vomiting, tiredness due to decreased white blood cell and platelet counts, hair loss, and mouth sores. Yep, all of my hair will be going bye-bye. I'm sure I will miss my head hair, but I won't miss shaving my legs (hey, I gotta get something positive out of this experience! :) Charity and I went wig shopping last Friday, and picked one out that I think I will be very happy with. It was fun and freaky at the same time (oh, by the way, I am not a good blonde. I tried!) I will post pictures when I get the wig.
The first week I will be sick and tired. The second week I will have low blood counts and will be tired, and the third week I will loose my hair, but will start feeling "better." Then, the follow Monday, I will start the second of my four cycles. Whoo-hoo! Sounds like a fun spring! :)
Please pray for Greg and I over the next couple weeks, as this will probably be the most difficult thing we have been through together. I am looking forward to relying on my Lord even more through this time.

March 10, 2005

What a week I've had! Thank you for all of your love and support. I know I keep saying that, but I really mean it. You are such an important part of my recovery. I am very humbled by your concern. On to the big stuff....
Yes, I will have to have a mastectomy. This is not what I had hoped for or wanted, but it is part of God's plan for my life. He knew I would be going through this, and He has been carrying me since my diagnosis. My faith is bound to a mighty Rock that will not move. It would have been very easy for me to question His sovereignty, saying, "I prayed for healing, and nothing happened! Are you even listening?"
I can say with full confidence that He is listening, and hearing my cry. For starters, He gave me the wisdom to know that the bump I found was not normal and head straight to a doctor. He gave me the words to tell my husband that the biopsy came back positive for cancer cells. He helped me get a VERY good (and very much needed) rest the night before my first surgery. He gave me my Mom to care for me during a very discouraging recovery. I COULD NOT have been able to get through that week without her. He stopped the cancer from advancing into my lymph nodes. He gave me a a very good sense of humor and lack of fear heading into my second surgery (ask the Anesthesiologist!) He was with me as I was waking from my anesthesia with constant deep shivers (those will wear you out!) He quietly told my heart that the results of pathology were not going to be good (some call it intuition, I call it God whipsers.) He was comforting me when I was kicking, screaming, and crying after Dr. Deitz called me and said, "I wish I had better news...." He helped me be brave when I became a human pin cushion yesterday for blood tests (4 very painful attempts and 1 excruciating success .) And most of all, He gave me a loving, compassionate, strong, devoted husband, who truly believes in "in sickness and in health." Greg literally drops everything to go to appointments with me (thanks Jerry Stauder!), and is a really great note taker.
Christ has walked the path of human suffering ahead of me, so that He could show me the way.
I will be starting chemotherapy on March 21. I will fill you in on all of that over the weekend. I think I've blogged a little too long tonight! :)
Hugs and Kisses, Alicia

March 5, 2005 (by Greg)

Yesterday was a tough day! Alicia had a big cry when she got the news from Dr. Dietz about the fact that the 2nd surgery didn't get all of the cancer. It appears that her right breast is just full of DCIS cancer and a mastectomy is the only option left. Alicia really didn't want to think about this option, but she knew it would be the only option left if the 2nd surgery wasn't successful.
Alicia has an appointment with her oncologist (Dr. Naughton) on Wednesday. He will outline the chemotherapy schedule. Alicia will go ahead and have chemo before the next surgery. This is because chemotherapy drops the white blood cell count so low, if Alicia was recovering from the mastectomy at the time, there is a greater risk of infection.

March 4, 2005 (by Greg)

Bad News. The cancer still remains. More later...

March 1, 2005 (by Greg)

Today was the 2nd surgery to remove more margins around the original tumor. Everything went well again, but like last time, we are waiting on the results of the pathology report to find out exactly how successful the surgery went. We hope to get that back by Friday.
We left the house around 6am, got to the hospital around 6:30am and we felt like old pros at this surgery thing, knowing where to park, how to get around, basically the whole process. Alicia was led into pre-op around 7am, I met up with her again around 7:15am while, Jeff, the anesthesiologist, was there putting the IV needle in place. Around 7:30am, I was kicked out and Alicia was led into surgery.
Dr. Dietz came and found me around 8:45am and told me that everything went well. Alicia did excellent! She said that the conditions were perfect for the 2nd surgery and that she was able to get a good margin around the cavity. She also cautioned that if the pathology report does not come back negative this time around, then they are probably doing the wrong surgery. The clear implication that a mastectomy would be needed in that case. I know that Alicia really doesn't want that option, so we all are praying hard that there are good clean margins this time. Dr. Dietz also said that the odds are in her favor and this second surgery is usually all that is needed in most cases.
I got to see Alicia again around 9am and she was already awake! The anesthesia they used this time was not as drastic as the last time. She ate a couple of crackers, took some pain medicine and we were on the road back home by 9:30am. She is sleeping on the sofa once again. I think the pain meds make her sleepy.
Your prayers did wonders last time we when asked everyone to pray for negative lymph nodes and not a single cancer cell was found in any of the three lymph nodes they removed during the first surgery. We ask that you pray with us again this time that the margins are good and clean.
Thank you all for your support!Greg...

February 28, 2005

Tomorrow is another big day! My surgery is scheduled for 7:30 am. Please pray with me that cancerous tissue will be extraordinarily noticeable to Dr. Dietz, so that she can completely remove it . Please pray that a satisfying peace will surround me over the next few days as I await the pathology report. This surgery is my last chance before a mastectomy. That is why I am praying hard. I'd like to keep my body parts, thank you!! :)
Good night, Alicia
P.S. Greg will give an update tomorrow.

February 21, 2005

Just want to let you know the latest...
The second surgery to remove the remain cancerous tissue is set for Tuesday, March 1. Dr. Dietz explained that the surgery is necessary in order to remove an area of tissue where some new cancer cells were starting to grow. Why didn't they get it out the first time? Because of my age, the breast tissue is very dense, which makes it very difficult to find the cancerous cells. A second surgery is not an uncommon procedure for woman my age. I'd take this surgery over another lymph node dissection any day!
I am praying that the cancer cells will cease growing and that all of the cancerous tissue will be completely removed. I am overjoyed to know that there is no cancer in the lymph nodes. Thank you, Jesus!
I am very happy to say that the incisions are healing up quite well and my arm is almost up to full strength (still not picking up the big stuff. Greg is now the laundry basket carrier!) I have low level pain, which I can pretty much ignore (unless I overuse the area.) Kind of bummed that I have to almost start all over again with the pain thing.
Another good thing is that I have an appointment with an oncologist. His name is Dr. Michael Naughton. Like Dr. Dietz, he teaches at Wash U Med School. I am looking forward to working with him in killing my cancer! :) I have heard from an outside source, that he is an excellent oncologist.
Peace and love to you, Alicia

February 14, 2005 (by Greg)

We attended the post-op consultation visit with Dr. Dietz this afternoon. The news is really good, but not perfect. The good news is that Alicia is "node-negative". This means that there was no cancer found in the lymph nodes. Praise the Lord! The other news is that the margins around the tumor are good, but they detected some early stage cancer cells near the margins still remains. This means that Alicia will need another surgery, but a much less invasive one this time. The lymph nodes are the real painful part of the surgery, but since they won't be doing anything with lymph nodes this time, the pain will be much reduced. They will essentially just increase the margins by taking more tissue surrounding where the original tumor was located. The tentative date for this second surgery is the first week of March.

February 9, 2005

I'm back! :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR PRAYERS! I am so blessed!
Physically, I am still healing. The two incisions are healing well, and the swelling has almost ceased. I must admit that I am very pleased with the surgery (the way I Iook.) But I am struggling with full use of my right arm. I thought the wounds would be the major pain, but I was mistaken. I am unable to perform tasks that use the pectoral muscle. I was surprised that my small motor skills were even effected. After a few pouts, I am accepting the fact that it may be a while before it works again. I am trying my best to slowly strengthen that muscle.
The last few days have definitely been a learning experience for me. God is teaching me how to be patient with my healing. I am sometimes a stubborn daughter.
This is what I am learning...
I am learning how to use my left hand better.
I am learning what movement the pectoral muscle performs. This has given me a great appreciation of how intricate God has made our bodies. (ex. I can lift a light object, but I have a hard time writing.)
I am learning to be happy that I am able to do my own hair, even if it looks all messy (try doing your hair with the opposite hand and you'll know what I mean.)
I am learning that my prayer for others decreases my own pain and fear.
Again, thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement. This coming Monday, we will be meeting with Dr. Dietz to go over the surgery. We are praying that the margins around the mass were completely cleared of cancer (oh, and those lymph nodes, too.)
Love, Alicia

February 4, 2005 - Surgery Day (by Greg)

The surgery went great and Alicia is home tonight sleeping on the sofa!
This is probably much longer than you want to read, but I know that some people want all of the details...
The day started at 4:30am this morning when the alarm went off. Alicia woke up after the best nights sleep she has had in over a week. She had asked several of you to pray for a good nights rest and the Lord provided. She said that she woke up to the Josh Groban song "You Lift Me Up," and that was a comforting thing, so she laid there and listened to the whole song.
Around 6:30am, Jeff Loaney, our pastor of care and counseling called. He was at the hospital wondering where we were. Apparently, the word didn't make it back to him that our arrival time was pushed back to 7:30am from 6:00am. We felt terrible that Jeff got up early to meet us down there and we weren't there yet. Please forgive us Jeff!
We arrived at the hospital about 7:30am and got all checked in. They hand out local area pagers now (like the ones you get at nice restaurants when you are waiting for a table). What a wonderful idea. We got paged and Alicia headed back to "pod 6" to get changed into the hospital gown. After Alicia headed back, they let me keep the pager. After she was all changed and in her gurney-chair under the heated blankets, they let me back to "pod 6" to keep her company while we waited for her to be taken for the radioactive tracer injection. During this waiting period, Dr. Dietz stopped by and gave us the layout of the day: radioactive tracer injection, nuclear medicine for photos of the radioactive tracer, surgery and recovery.
Around 9:30am, they led Alicia to the breast center in the hospital for the radioactive tracer injection. This consisted of inserting 4 needles into the tumor and then adding the radioactive tracer directly into the tumor. After the tracer was injected, the needles were left in and she was sent downstairs to nuclear medicine. After arriving at nuclear medicine, she was placed on a table and a large camera was placed inches over her. She stayed there for about a half-hour while they took those pictures. (These aren't normal pictures, they are using special equipment that picks up the radioactive tracer. It's officially called a lymphoscintigraph.) The tracer hadn't fully traveled to the lymph nodes yet, so she waited until 12:30pm, when they took the pictures again. This was a little painful in that the needles were still there and she just couldn't get comfortable. She finished the second set of pictures around 1:30pm and was taken right on up to pre-op. The purpose of the radioactive test is to help the surgeon know where the lymph nodes are during surgery.
There was about a 5-10 minute window of time during pre-op that Alicia had the chance to visit with her parents, who had just arrived in town after a 5 hour drive from northwest Indiana. I know that was special for her to get to see her parents before surgery.
During the surgery, several people arrived: Charity (Sister), Anthony (Nephew), Connie (Mom), George (Dad), Linda (Friend) and Nancy (Friend). We all waited until around 4:15pm, when Dr. Dietz came out and debriefed us on the surgery. She started out by telling us that the surgery went very well. The first thing she did was inject her with the blue dye that will adhere to the radioactive tracer making the lymph nodes easier to find. She then extracted 3 lymph nodes. She said that one of the lymph nodes didn't quite feel right, so she had a frozen section performed and that test came out negative. This is wonderful news and is a good sign that the lymph nodes may be completely negative, but we won't really know that for sure for about another week. She then took out the lump and feels that it went well, but she can't really tell whether the margins are good until she gets the results of a test in about a week. Finally, she said that Alicia was taken to the recovery room and that we could go back and visit with her in about an hour.
Around 5:30pm, we all headed back to visit with Alicia in the final recovery room. Alicia was still feeling pretty groggy, but the nurses felt she should go home tonight. We all helped her eat a couple of crackers so that she could take her first pain killer. She just continued to sleep. Around 7:15pm, we helped her get dressed and she was taken downstairs in a wheelchair, picked up in the car at valet parking and we headed home.
She came into the house and went straight for the sofa (it is downstairs, while the bed it upstairs). She is sleeping on the sofa now and by the looks of things, she'll probably be out of it until at least tomorrow afternoon.
Thank you all for your love and prayers. They really do energize her and keep her going. She loves to visit the website and see all of the words of encouragement in the guestbook. Thank you all so much.
--Greg

February 3, 2005

My surgery is scheduled for 2 pm tomorrow. I will have to show up at 7:30 for some pre-operative testing. They will shoot me up with some blue dye, that will cling to any cancer cells in my lymph nodes. I will then have a body scan to find those blue cells. They funny part is, they said that I will pee blue for a couple days. Pleasant! :) (Hey, I get humor where I can get it! :)
Today, I am just exhausted. The stress has been building up, and my body is tired of it. I am praying for a good nights rest. I am not exactly excited about tomorrow, but I know with your prayers and the presence of Greg and my parents, I will be okay. I kind of look forward to being put out because I don't have to think about it anymore.
Thank you for your love (every one of you.) I know that Christ will be with me tomorrow and over the next several months of treatment. Greg will updated this weblog tomorrow night with an update (It might be late.)
Hugs and Kisses, Alicia

January 29, 2005

Went in for the pre-operative test. Seems like I am good to go next week! I was advised that I will probably be spending the night in the hospital. That was news to me! All is well with me. I'm ready to start my treatments.
Yesterday, I stopped by the Cancer Resource Room at Siteman after my tests, and was given a set of tickets to a modern dance company performance at the Fox Theater. I was so excited! One of the friends I took with me introduced me to a couple acquaintances who were attending the performance. They also received the tickets from the Cancer Center that day. It was amazing the people that God puts in your way. They were a great encouragement to me, and gave me some great advice. The gentleman I met suffered throat cancer from years of smoking. Don Young is now a leading advocate of smoking prevention in the St. Louis area. Please check out his website at www.youngchoices.org. He teaches classes at the Cancer Resource Room at Siteman and throughout the St. Louis area. I gave them both a hug when we departed, because they were such wonderful people. I am glad God "hooked us up!" :) AB

January 25, 2005

We have a date!!! Relief and fear! My surgery date is Fri., February 4. I don't know what time yet, but a this point, I don't even care. I am just glad to have a date. It has been a long 2 week wait, filled with tears, angry whining (sorry and thanks Mom,) and lots of prayer on my part. Everyday I learn how to trust Him more.
Thank you all for your words of encouragement. At times of discouragement, I would just read through your notes and remember how much God loves and carries me through your words. They are precious to me.
Again, keep praying for those lymph nodes! One body part is enough! :) AB

January 22, 2005

Sorry for the delay. I know many of you were waiting for news on my surgery date. I have no news about a date. I was too upset last night to report it. I spoke with Dr. Dietz last night and she was not able to give me a date. She is having her assistant call me by Tuesday.
I do have some good news to report (actually, great news!) After studying my test results, the committee found that they believe the tumor is only 18 mm (Originally they thought it was 24mm.) Only surgery will determine the exact size, but 18 mm is much, much better! The smaller the tumor, the less they take of me. I can only praise God for this.
Please pray for me, as I have had some pretty rough emotional days. I am not handling this wait very well (though, my friends say I am.) I keep thinking about Christ, and his wait before His suffering. He is my inspiration.- AB

January 19, 2005

Called the surgeon's office today to find out my surgery date. The scheduler said that my case has been chosen to be discussed at a weekly surgeon's committee, which takes place tomorrow. The scheduler said that every week Dr. Deitz chooses a case to discuss before a roundtable of other doctors. I don't know what this means (a good thing or bad.) I will have to call back on Friday, January 21 to get the date (and why my case was discussed!) When I know, you will know.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow....AB

January 18, 2005

Great news! The MRI results are in....there were no new growths found in the breasts. This is great news, because it strengthened my choice for a lumpectomy. Within the next day or two, I will receive a call from the surgeon, setting a date for the surgery. I am both relieved and scared at the same time. Please continue to pray that the cancer has not moved into the lymph nodes.
Thank you so much for your encouraging words of hope and encouragement on the Guestbook. I am very humbled by your responses. God has truly surrounded me with love!- AB

January 17, 2005

No news on the MRI yet. The doctors office was closed today for the MLK Day holiday. Hoping to hear some news on the MRI tomorrow.

January 13, 2005

Alicia attended her MRI appointment tonight. Not much to report yet. The results should be in tomorrow or Monday.

January 7, 2005

Alicia received a phone call that informed her that the estrogen receptors are positive. This means that Alicia will have to have hormone therapy, but it also means that the cancer is fed by estrogen. Therefore, a drug such as tamoxifen will "starve" the any remaining cancer after the surgery, radiation and chemo.

January 6, 2005

Alicia and Greg both attended the consultation appointment with Dr. Dietz. During this appointment we learned that things were much more serious than we thought. Alicia is facing surgery, radiation therapy, chemotherapy and hormone therapy all this year. Surgery options include either a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. Radiation is only required for the lumpectomy option. Radiation options include external beam radiation (a "tanning bed" type treatment) (once a day, 5days week for 6 weeks) or Internal radiation (a localized catheter approach) (twice a day for 5 days). The length of the chemotherapy is really dependent on the results of the sentinel lymph node test. If the sentinel node test is positive, Alicia will have 8 cycles of chemo, if negative she only faces 4 cycles of chemo. We really need prayer that the sentinel node test is negative.

January 4, 2005

Alicia received a phone call from the doctors office and they informed her that they had in fact found cancer. At this point, we still didn't feel that things were very serious. We were thinking a simple lumpectomy to extract the tumor and things would be finished. They scheduled a consultation appointment for Alicia to visit a surgeon on January 6.

January 3, 2005

Alicia went to her appointment for her first mammogram. She had felt a lump in her right breast which prompted the appointment. After the first mammogram, the doctors couldn't really see anything, but they decided to perform an ultrasound test as well. During the ultrasound, the doctors definitely saw something. At this time, they decided to perform a core needle biopsy to test for cancer.