July 22, 2005

Had a thought the other day....
I can now say, "I had cancer."
It is amazing to me that a change of one word (from have to had) changes everything.- AB

July 20, 2005

Getting better everyday. Last week I got the last two drains taken out. Hallelujah! I didn't realize that those drains were a source of a lot of my abdominal discomfort. I have a lot more freedom to move.
This week my goal is to walk at least a mile a day (divided into two walks.) My main struggle now is with stiffness and lack of mobility. My arms just aren't working well yet! Walking definitely seems to helping with the stiffness. This Friday, I am meeting with Dr. Brandt to go over my surgery and to see how I'm healing. I have lots of questions! The good thing is that he will be giving me a set of exercises to strengthen my dead chest and arm muscles. I can't wait!
A great thing is that I am starting to drive again! Yeah! It wears me out, but it feels great to have some freedom.
Please pray for my healing. At times, I get down because of my mobility problems and spot numbness (I have lost feeling on my the back of my right elbow and arm.) I know I will heal in time, but I am just so stubborn, I want it all now. (See you always have something God needs to work on! :) - AB

July 10, 2005

I have wonderful news! I just received a call from Dr. Deitz (the oncological breast dr.) She said the pathology report came back clear! No more cancer! This means I won't have to have radiation (which would have deformed my new set) I am so happy! She said they got rid of my "little old lady cancer" and that I can take my tamoxofin and have a good life....

had to take break and cry....Seeing those words, "....have a good life," hit me in a way I haven't experience for a while. Since January, it has been a long journey of not so good test results (other than the lymph nodes.) It was very powerful to say that I am now done with the painful treatments, and that the cancer has now left the building.

Anyway, Dr. Deitz said they got good margins in the right breast (the original cancerous one,) and the 2 additional lymph nodes she took out came out clear. The left breast tissue and the 2 lymph nodes came back negative for cancer. NO MORE CANCER!!!

Praise to our Father, from whom all blessings flow! I am so thankful!!


Everyday I am feeling better. Today I even went to church! I just had to be there. It fills me up for the week. :) Everyone was so surprised to see me, less than two weeks after my surgery. Honestly, it doesn't take much energy to just sit there. Anyway, it felt good to get out and be normal. It was encouraging to see my friends at church.

This past Friday, I was able to get out two of my four drains. While I wish all of them would have been removed, I am happy that the two most annoying ones, the ones under my arms, were removed. I will have the other two taken out on Tuesday. I can I wait.

To the right is me with all of my drains before heading to Dr. Brandt's to have them removed. It is also evident in this photo of my 10lb weight loss from the surgery (and also I'm loosing my chemo face-poof.)

Thank you for your love. Amazing!! Alicia

July 6, 2005

Hello, Everyone! I survived! :)
Thank you for all of your words of encouragement, prayers, cards, and visits over the past week and a half. They keep me going!
Well, surgery was the worst thing I have ever been through. The first few days were just horrid. A few times, I told Greg I wanted to die. Those were some very difficult times. But once they started giving me pain meds, I was much more comfortable. The staff at BJC was incredible. They kept me smiling through the pain, as well as keeping me at ease with my stay. My favorite person to see was my plastic surgeon, Dr. Brandt. He had wonderful sense of humor and the means to get things done.
I am very glad to be at home now (I got home Friday night.) I am sleeping VERY comfortably in my recliner which is 6 feet from the TV and 8 feet from the bathroom! :) My pain is definitely manageable and I am able to shower and do a lot of walking around stuff. I take a few naps during the day, which keeps me going. I have four tubes which are draining my abdomen and my new chest. They keep me from infection as well as blowing up like a big balloon from the "healing" fluids. Right now, the tubes the most difficult thing to deal with as they are kind of ow-ey and annoying (I have to pin the bulbs to my shirt). I am so excited about getting them removed on Friday! Yeah!
The great things is my wounds are already healing and I am pleased with the reconstruction. My tummy is truly flat and I'm bigger (if you know what I mean) than I thought I'd be :) I'm like a teenager again! :) Everyday I am standing up a little straighter and able to move around a little easier. Can't wait for the drains to come out. I will be out of work for probably 2 or 3 more weeks.
My hair is growing back in! It looks fabulous! And is soft like baby's hair.
My mom is taking care of me this week while I recoup. Greg asked her if we could hire her on permanent basis to clean and fix meals. :) I love my Mom. She is making this week so wonderful for me.
Continue to keep me in your prayers. I have A LOT of healing to do. I cannot stand or sit up straight, bend over, reach above my head, or stand up for more than 5-10 minutes at a time. Greg joked with me that I was his Borg (ask anyone who has watched Star Trek). I am all in pieces, have no hair and have tubes sticking out of my body. It ain't pretty! :)
I know in the end, the pain will end, I will love my new body, and best of all I WILL BE CANCER-FREE.
God promised me He would supply for all of my needs. He has done so abundantly. I treasure the time I now have to spend with Him prayer and song.
Love you all! Alicia